This last month of the school year, my son Scotty is working on a HUGE project. Fifth graders host a wax museum for the entire school to tour. The project comes with a PACKET of instructions and demands research, a five-paragraph essay formatted to meet MLA guidelines with in-text citations, a title page, and a works cited page. He also must write and memorize a one-minute speech. On top of that work, my eleven-year-old must dress as the noteworthy person from head to little toes and, ugh, build a backdrop. Mama is a busy entrepreneur. Daddy now hides in the yard every time he hears the words "wax museum." But Scotty is Bill Nye the Science Guy, or at least he will be on May 12, and he must be READY. He'll coat his hair in silver gray paint and don safety glasses, a blue blazer with a pen-filled pocket protector, and a navy bowtie sporting science-y symbols. He will also display his underutilized chemistry set. As each kindergarten through fourth-grade student approaches, Scotty-Bill will recite his one-minute speech. His backdrop? More on that later.
This means that I, Mama, am on deck to assist in all of this W.O.R.K. Do I sound grouchy? I should, because I am. As a writer and business owner, I have two enemies: interruption and inefficiency. As a writer, I'm sure you can relate. Actually, if you are an adult (many of my clients are young and have yet to enter the working world), you relate. Daily, I am interrupted by a text or email reminder about what, ahem, Scotty should be doing to prepare for the wax museum. Every night, I am at my desk helping him work through the arduous project to-do list.
As students, we must learn all the steps. I get it. I desperately want teachers to drill students on grammar and mechanics, writing methods, essay conventions, and, above all else, HOW TO WRITE OUTLINES. My mother claims she taught me how to write outlines in third grade, and I was on essay Easy Street after that. Thank you, Mama. Children see outlines as drudgery, but they are actually shortcuts. If you'd like a tutorial, book an appointment with me. This word nerd loves to outline with friends.
Also, it's important to focus not on your weaknesses as a human but on your STRENGTHS. Examine your strengths and then put them into action. Hire the weak stuff out (unless you just want to get better at certain skills). For example, I love to teach and am good at it. I am not good at cutting hair, so my sons see a barber. It's really that simple. You are probably already hiring out a lot more tasks than you realize. I buy butter someone else made. I don't milk cows and then sit at a wooden churn all night. Really think about this. Hiring help and using short cuts are A-okay! Sometimes, we just need to take care of business in a hurry. We aren't cheating if we don't DIY everything. In other words, shortcuts and cheat sheets aren't always taboo. Sometimes, they are efficient, and dare I say, common sense. If you don't know who Sweet Williams is, you are missing out. Google her. I love her spirit and immediate recognition of what's important when the clock is ticking—Jesus, not shoes, right Ms. Williams?
Sweet Brown on apartment fire: "Ain't Nobody Got Time for That!" - YouTube
Scotty has written the essay. Next, we will take a shortcut and copy the best sentences from that essay to paste them into new document—his speech. Will he memorize it? "Ain't nobody got time for that." Besides, when children memorize, they rush the speech, and you can't understand what they are saying. My boy will have his speech typed on paper in size 14 font and triple spaced so that he's forced to slow down. This way, the wax museum tourists will actually learn about Bill Nye. Isn't that the point?
Will Scotty dress up? Yes, I scoured the house for attire and props. He'll wear a blue suit that is three inches too short in the arms and legs. I did send Amazon $80 to take care of the rest of the costume business. Will Scotty spend hours designing a backdrop? "Ain't nobody got time for that." That is not his strength (or mine), nor is he interested in cutting cardboard and construction paper. This mama spent $10.99 on a fantastic shortcut that won't interrupt our more important tasks and is quite efficient.
HERE IS MY QUESTION FOR YOU: When you are writing, what frustrates or confuses you? When and where do you need a shortcut, cheat sheet, or efficient solution? You name the problem, and my team will create the tool.
I know I need to use hashtags in social media, but I don't have time to research how to use hash tags. I asked teammate Ginger to help me. She created The Ultimate Hashtag Cheat Sheet. Wow! She also authored most of 365 Ways to Market Your Book for Free. (You'll see it in under different titles online.) I told you about it a couple of weeks ago and priced it at $37 with a 50% discount for April. SCRATCH THAT! After gut-checking my way through the wax museum project, talking with my team, and thinking hard what authors need, I decided to change the price to $9.99 and create MORE tools at the same price. This makes each tool affordable for authors while also compensating my team for their brilliant work:) Authors may use our tools through all phases (writing, editing, publishing, and marketing). Again, what can we create for you?
Here's the current list. I'll update you when each new item is ready for purchase.
- The Ultimate Hashtag Cheat Sheet
- 365 Ways to Market Your Book for Free (in Under 10 Minutes a Day)
- The Ultimate Checklist to Successfully Market Your Book
- Proofread Like a Pro Checklist
- The Complete Book Project Planner for Authors
- Character Development Made Easy
- Brainstorm Your Way to a Book
We also share some freebies from time to time via email. If you want to stay in the Crippled Beagle Publishing loop and download freebies when they are offered, click HERE. You are welcome to share this email with fellow writers.
XOXOXOXO
Jody Dyer
