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Theories: Size 12
Go On, Get Mad, But You Know You Agree (Theories 1-20)
A collection of humorist essays. Paperback, October 2016. Amazon and Kindle.
In the book version of Theories: Size 12, I expound and elaborate on all things man, woman, child, barns, teaching, parenting, partying, sports, bras, dogs, teenagers, life in the hollers, and more.
Readers will enjoy fleshed out, funny, insightful theories that should make you laugh, get mad, and eventually agree with me. Ha! Mwah, ha, ha!
Theories: Size 12, Volume II
Go On, Get Mad, But You Know You Agree
I learn from you and value your input, so please share your own theories in the comments section here or on Facebook by clicking this link: Author Jody Dyer. If you are a chicken and don't want your mother-in-law to see what you say, use messaging or email me at firstname.lastname@example.org.
Theories under construction:
Wear your hard hats because these could get mean and messy!
- If your church has no deaf people, stop making the choir sign.
- Mulch is a turn-on.
- Complaining is much more effective when you back it up with data.
- Don't call your mama from Lover's Leap.
- Bubbles do not provide a soft landing.
- It's rude to be shy.
- Work purge. Awesome.
- Catholics shouldn't hog the practice of confession.
- All teachers develop ADHD.
- Politeness and personal space are inverted North vs. South.
- Just because you love Jesus, that doesn't mean you can sing.
- Grandparents know all their letters.
- Certain words should be banned from songs.
- We need a new, more relevant generation of door prizes. (Specific to industry/occasion).
- Pets make terrible gifts.
- College towns are the best towns for raising children.
- A country club would never survive in the hollers of East TN.
- Alcohol makes you more interesting than Facebook does.
- Third graders can NOT invent a simple machine. In two weeks.
- Nature's first green ain't gold, it's a blue varicose vein.
- Men whose wives don't work should not be in charge.
- Grown-ups should never say, "Shhhhhhh." to other grown-up. It's flat out rude.
A three-part romantic fiction series
Baltazar, Sita, and Valentin
Fiction short stories, based on true life